


To Love a Demon

by WayoftheSheikah



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Love, Love Confessions, Mystery, Post-Canon, Post-Zero Requiem, Zero Requiem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 07:25:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14890152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WayoftheSheikah/pseuds/WayoftheSheikah
Summary: Post-R2, one-shot. When he died in front of the entire world two years ago, Kallen Kozuki lost a piece of her soul. She has tried to "live on," as he had once asked her to do, but there are still too many questions on her mind. While the rest of the world celebrates two years of freedom and prosperity, Kallen searches for answers. Originally posted on FF.net.





	To Love a Demon

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I don’t own Code Geass, its characters, plot, or anything else related to it. Code Geass belongs to Sunrise, Bandai, and Clamp. Honestly, do you really think I’d be writing this if I did own it?

 

 

The sun had almost set across the barren campus of Ashford Academy, the last few rays of daylight barely seeping through the trees surrounding the area. There were no birds singing in the trees or vehicles rushing down the streets, nor people ambling down the sidewalks. A lone autumn breeze was the only sign of nature’s presence as a lone, red-headed woman made her way toward the main gates of the school, gently pushing them open and closing them without a sound.

 

The thought of being alone in this kind of setting might have been unnerving for a normal person, but for Kallen Kozuki, the situation was perfectly fitting for what she was about to do.

 

She knew no one would disturb her that day, for everyone else in Japan was celebrating with the rest of the world. Today officially marked two years since the Demon Emperor, Lelouch Vi Britannia, was assassinated at the hands of Zero, freeing the world from his tyranny and ushering in a new era of peace throughout the world. Thanks to the efforts of the United Federation of Nations and its enforcers, the Black Knights, this peace had been maintained with little resistance, and since the wars between Britannia, the European Universe and the Chinese Federation had been settled, the newly liberated Areas of the world had joined the UFN under their old country names. This allowed the UFN and its member nations to focus more of its attention and resources on issues such as poverty and ongoing global war recovery efforts.

 

The world believed that all of this was possible thanks to Zero, the “man of miracles” who saved the world from Britannian enslavement. But no, Kallen was one of the few individuals who knew otherwise.    

 

 _‘No, it was thanks to_ **_him_** _that all of this was possible. All because of_ **_him_** _…’_

As she continued past Ashford’s many academic buildings and courtyards, she wondered what he had been thinking when he planned all of this. So many people had died thanks to him and his accursed power of Geass. Ironically, many more had been spared a life of oppression and imperialism at the hands of the former Britannian Empire. Besides, it was war: the lines between what was right and wrong were often blurred together, if nonexistent, on the battlefield. She knew this fact far better than anyone. After all, she wasn’t known as Japan’s fearsome Red Lotus for nothing. But still…

 

_‘But still Lelouch, did you really have to sacrifice your own life in exchange for all of ours? Was there no other way? You left us all with so many questions. What about the people who actually cared about you! Nunnally, C.C, Suzaku…Hell, what about me! Didn’t I at least mean anything to you? You know I would have helped you, protected you ‘till my last dying breath if you had let me. But instead, you let me believe that you were pure evil. You more than anyone else deserve to live in this peaceful world you created for us! Dear God Lelouch, why did you have to be so goddamned selfless!’_

 

Tears threatened to trickle from her cerulean eyes as she continued walking, buried feelings from that day two years ago threatening to disrupt her calm façade. She held them at bay, wiping her damp eyes with the sleeve of her jacket.

 

No, she had shed too many tears for that man. She wouldn’t allow him the satisfaction of seeing her like this again, wherever he might be.

 

She couldn't help but chuckle when she thought about how obsessed she truly was over him. Before she had found out that Lelouch was actually Zero, Kallen had barely paid any attention to the boy, actually finding herself hating the egotistical Britannian on many occasions for being so infuriatingly condescending. He always knew precisely how to push her buttons at any given time, and she swore he did it only for the sheer enjoyment of watching her reaction. Hell, if she hadn’t had to keep her cover as a sickly rich girl, she swore she would have bashed his head in with a frying pan or something.

 

Never would she had thought that the leader she so admired and, dare she say it, _loved_ , would turn out to be someone as conceited of a bastard as Lelouch Lamperouge. She wouldn’t be surprised if that asshole was watching her right now from the afterlife somewhere, wearing that trademark smirk of his. How could she ever hate, and yet somehow, be attracted to someone like that? She had a feeling she would never know.

 

She remembered what he had said to her on the _Ikaruga_ before fleeing with Rolo in the _Shinkiro_. Those words he had almost incoherently muttered to her at gunpoint, the day his performance as Zero, fearless leader of the Black Knights and cofounder of the UFN, came to an unfortunate end.

 

_‘You must live on, Kallen…’_

 

Since the end of the war she had been trying her best to live on in this new world he had created, graduating from Ashford and taking care of her recovering mother while also focusing on her college studies, but nonetheless she found her thoughts almost constantly shifting back to him.

 

She had tried to get over him: his touch, his smell, his kindness, even that stupid gambler’s grin of his and those soul-piercing violet eyes that she always felt herself melting under. Part of her wanted to simply mourn his passing and move on as she had done when her brother Naoto had died, but for some reason she couldn’t. There were still so many questions, so many things she wished she could have asked him. Once again, she prayed that the object clutched tightly in her left fist would lead her to some sort of conclusion, or at the very least peace of mind.

 

Yesterday she had met with Zero, despite the personal grudge she still held against him, at the Black Knight’s Shinjuku headquarters. She had hesitated at first; wondering whether or not she could trust this “Zero.” She finally at least heard him out after his continued insistence, but she still remained suspicious.

 

 In the comfort of his personal quarters the masked man said little, only reaching in a desk drawer and drawing out a golden brass key. He gave it to her wordlessly, only responding when she asked what it unlocked. He told her to go to the old Ashford clubhouse tomorrow afternoon during the Tokyo celebrations and to look for a small box inside the Student Council meeting room. She tried asking him what was so important inside the box that Zero couldn’t simply give her the contents, but he only placed a velvet-gloved hand on her shoulder and curled her fingers around the key with the other. A cold shiver had rushed down her spine at the sudden contact, his words equally as chilling as his touch.

 

_‘That box was only meant to be opened by you. I guarantee you though; it will answer all of your questions concerning the man once known as Lelouch Vi Britannia.’_

Despite the voice distortion, Kallen could have sworn that “Zero” had spoken with a hint of sadness in his voice…or was it guilt? She couldn’t decide. It didn’t help that she was still clueless as to who might be under the mask now. Her suspicions still pointed to Suzaku despite Gino reassuring her that he had perished on the _Damocles_ with the _Lancelot Albion_. She had seen the masked man move with such grace on that fateful day when he killed Lelouch, movement she had seen in only one other individual.

 

Besides, who else would Lelouch have entrusted something as sacred as the role of Zero to? C.C? Possibly; the immortal witch had acted as Zero in the past, but then again she wasn’t always known to be reliable. Kallen still wondered sometimes what had happened to her. Even though she was a bit jealous of C.C.’s closeness to Lelouch, Kallen had grown somewhat fond of the pizza-loving, green haired girl.

 

Playbacks of their fateful duel during the attack on the _Avalon_ rushed through her head as she remembered how C.C. had reacted when Kallen had asked her if she loved Lelouch. She had said that she didn’t know, but Kallen had always feared that C.C. and Lelouch were secretly lovers, despite Lelouch’s constant claims that they were merely “accomplices” and nothing more. Yet another question Kallen never received the answer to.

 

* * *

 

Eerie silence greeted Kallen as she closed the door inside the empty Student Council Clubhouse. She flicked on the nearby light switch, but was surprised when nothing happened. No matter, it was still dusk outside, she could manage. She probably wouldn’t be here for too long anyhow.

 

She started toward the grand staircase, memories flashing through her mind with each step. She recalled that time when she unceremoniously had Champaign spilled on her head by Rivalz, leading to that awkward (and almost fatal, for Lelouch at least) shower incident. She still marveled at how Lelouch had managed to Geass Sayoko into playing the Zero recording over the phone at _exactly_ the right time in their confrontation. He truly was a genius.

 

Even with his tactical brilliance he was still so maddening back then, especially when he pointed out with a smirk that she had completely pulled back the curtain of the shower, leaving nothing to the imagination. Her blood started to boil just thinking about it, but it could have been worse.

 

Still, Lelouch also had his kindhearted moments too, like how he had lent some of his clothes to her to wear while hers dried, or how he would always go out of his way to cater to his sister Nunnally’s every request. As Zero he had given her the strength to keep fighting and had inspired confidence in all that had fought under him.  

 

Now that Kallen thought about it, she and Lelouch were almost always on friendly terms in school during the few times they actually did interact, even if he did come off as a smartass sometimes. He became the only one that figured out she was faking her lethargic behavior in school, so she never had to worry about being herself around him. In a way, they had formed a special bond. The thought brought a slight smile to her face.

 

As she reached the top of the staircase and grasped the familiar railing, another memory came back to her. It was one of her last of Lelouch, and probably one of the most bitter and heartbreaking memories of her entire life.

 

* * *

 

**_-Two Years Ago-_ **

 

_At “Emperor” Lelouch’s request, Kallen led him into the Student Council Clubhouse, only choosing to speak when they were safely away from prying eyes. The elaborate golden white robes and hat he now wore didn’t suit him; black was definitely and always would be his color. His dress and his comment about the nostalgia of their situation made her even more uneasy as she led him down the hall._

_She had thanked him for what he had done by forming the Black Knights and becoming Zero, but admitted she was still in the dark as to why he would suddenly decide to usurp the Britannian throne. Did he want power? Status? Perhaps to recreate the Empire from the inside, as he appeared to be doing up until that point? She was frustrated when she didn’t receive an answer, only an emotionless stare from his piercing violet eyes. What was it with those eyes of his?_

 

_She couldn’t take it anymore. She needed an answer, right now. When she reached the middle of the steps, she turned back to face him._

_“Lelouch, back on the_ Ikaruga, _why did you tell me to live on?” Still, no response. Never before did she feel so hopeless, searching his eyes for some trace of emotion. She could have sworn that she saw a trace of regret break through his mask. She walked towards him, inching ever closer, her hands trembling as she desperately tried to fight the tears stinging her eyes._

 

_“Lelouch…what do you think of me?” she asked desperately._

_Still no response, only an emotionless stare. Without thinking, she did the only thing she thought she could. She gently took his warm cheeks in her hands and forcefully connected her lips with his._

_They were cold, she remembered. It was like kissing a corpse. He gave no response, but didn’t stop her either. She almost wished he had, if only to get some kind of reaction._

_She pulled away, searching his eyes for anything at all. Again she could have sworn that she saw a flicker of something in his eyes, yet she couldn’t determine what it was. Was it...pain?_

_She finally gave up, tears freely flowing down her face as she tore her eyes away from his gaze._

 

_“Goodbye…Lelouch.”_

_She walked up the left side of the staircase again and stopped in the middle, resuming her role of UFN hostess as if the last two minutes had never happened by telling him where the UFN meeting was to be held. She barely managed to turn around and continue walking, trying to stop her tears. However, she paused when she heard his response, so close to a whisper that she might not have heard it if she hadn’t stopped._

_“Goodbye…Kallen…”_

 

 _Her heart shattered into fragments as she heard those words escape his lips, sounding as if it had been the hardest thing he had ever had to say._  'Maybe…’ _she thought as she went outside, wiping the wetness from her eyes,_ ‘Maybe this is the way it has to be…the way he wants it to be…’  
 

* * *

 

  
A few tears seeped from her eye as she reached the top of the staircase and walked toward the meeting room. From that point on she had tried to hate him, made him her primary target during the battle over Mt. Fuji, had almost succeeded in killing him had C.C. not intervened, but something inside of her persisted in thinking that he was playing them all. He never visited her during the one month that she was locked up, awaiting her "execution" with the other leaders of the UFN.

 

Perhaps the main question that haunted her mind ever since that fateful day was whether or not she truly was a mere pawn; a mere chess piece to be carelessly tossed aside in his elaborate game of world domination. Or was she something more, something that Lelouch wanted to protect from himself, for both of their sakes? Did he intentionally keep her out of his plans to protect her? If so, was it merely out of friendship, or did he feel something deeper for her after all? Kallen wasn’t sure of anything, only that her head hurt from all of these questions.

 

She hesitantly opened the door to the meeting room, not knowing what awaited her on the other side. The room was almost exactly as she had remembered before she had fled with the Black Knights during the first Black Rebellion. In fact, it seemed as if nothing had been moved at all. Surprising, especially considering how much reconstruction had gone into the school since the FLEIJA warhead had incinerated almost a quarter of the campus.

 

Not wasting a moment of the little time she had, she started searching through the desk drawers and tables, looking for something with a keyhole that might go with the key she still held in her hand. It wasn’t until she had extensively gone through the bottom drawer of Lelouch’s old desk that she pulled out a small, rectangular velvet box with a keyhole. The box was beautifully ornamented, gold trim intertwined with velvet and dark blue patterns decorating the smooth surface.

 

Upon closer inspection, Kallen made out in small calligraphic lettering, something that absolutely confirmed that this box was meant for her; something she hadn’t been called in almost two years. It was only three characters, but those characters held more significance for her than anything else in her life. It was her call name during battles, a codename Lelouch always reserved specifically for her: _Q-1_.

 

A couple of tears managed to fall from her eyes as she ran her index finger over the letters, Lelouch’s smiling face and Zero’s commanding figure flashing through her mind. Ignoring her impulse to open the box where she held it, she immediately rushed out of the room and returned outside to the front of the Clubhouse. Dusk had almost turned into nighttime.

 

Her fingers trembled as she slipped the brass key into the golden keyhole, turning until she heard a satisfying _click_. Taking a small breath, she opened the top cover of the box and found a small piece of folded parchment inside bearing the mark of the Black Knights. Taking the piece of parchment and unconsciously dropping the box on the pavement, she opened the letter while trying to steady her shaking hands, her heart beating faster as she read the first words.

 

**_My dearest Q-1,_ **

**_If you are reading this then I am dead, and Zero Requiem has succeeded. I predict that at the very time you are reading this, exactly two years have passed since the world was freed from the binds of war and hatred. In fact, it’s probably almost nighttime at this exact moment. If all of the preceding things I’ve mentioned are, in fact, correct, turn to where the moon is rising. You should be able to figure out the rest on your own; after all you’re not my Q-1 for nothing, are you?_ **

****

**_-Lelouch_ **

_Wait…what? That’s it!?_ Kallen’s eyes went wide with rage, her fists crumpling the paper as she stared at Lelouch’s last words to her in disbelief.

 

_‘That bastard! What the Hell was he trying to prove by writing this? I was expecting a death note or a will or something like that, not a stupid letter like this! Did Zero set this up on purpose? If he did, he’d better start running because he’ll pay with his life…’_

As Kallen made to leave, she remembered something. Unfolding the crumpled paper in her fist, she once again read the part about looking toward **_"where the moon is rising."_**

 

 _‘Well, guess it couldn’t hurt…’_ she thought bitterly as she looked for the rising moon, turning toward the western side of campus. She waited patiently for ten minutes, and was frustrated when nothing happened.

 

Just as she was about to give up and leave, the sound of what she thought was a missile flying through the air caught her attention. A glimmering red firework exploded in front of the full moon, illuminating the barren campus. At first she thought it might be from the Tokyo celebrations, but when she thought about it, Tokyo was actually in the _opposite_ direction of where she was standing. In fact, that firework had been fired close to the building where Lelouch used to live…

 

It wasn't until then when she remembered Lelouch’s proposal to her, in that awkward moment aboard the _Ikaruga_ when she had fallen on top of him.

 

_‘Kallen…when this is all over, will you promise to return to Ashford with me?’_

 

Until now she had thought that he had meant only her, but now that she gave it more thought, maybe he had implied that he had wanted _both_ of them to return. Wait a second…could it be?

 

Another firework shot from the same area. That was the only sign she needed as she broke into a run toward the old Ashford residence, her athletic legs carrying her as fast as they could. The mansion was unlocked as she bolted through the front door, sprinting up the stairs to the roof.

* * *

 

When she arrived, she could see unlit fireworks strewn across the concrete. A freshly-used launch pad sat facing the moon, which seemed to have grown in size from where she had seen it back at the Clubhouse. She looked around for any signs of life, but it appeared as if whoever had lit off the fireworks had fled.

 

She felt silly, mentally scolding herself for actually believing that he could be here. After all, the dead can’t light off fireworks. Her heart falling, she started back toward the door.

 

_“Leaving so soon, Q-1?”_

 

She jumped as she heard the mechanized voice behind her. She spun around and came face to face with none other than the leader of the Black Knights himself, Zero, standing on the edge of the rooftop. Wait... _Zero_?

 

“Zero…but, why? Why did you set this up? To make fun of me? To mock me or something for leaving the Black Knights? I ought to kill you right now!” she growled as she grabbed her trusty pink pouch from out her purse, the hidden blade springing forth. Her skin crawled when he laughed, leaping off the edge and landed gracefully in front of her with a bow.

 

 _“Come now, is that any way to treat me after all this time, Q-1? I thought you’d have been pleased to see me,"_  he said as he walked toward her, arms outstretched like an unarmed prisoner awaiting death. Kallen became even angrier.

 

“Come on Suzaku, I know it’s been you all this time! What, are you actually trying to be Lelouch now with all of these dramatics? Is that all this is to you, some sort of sick game to make me like you? I’m not interested, so stay away from me unless you want to join Lelouch in the grave!” she shouted as she held the blade in front of her at an angle, her hand shaking uncontrollably.

 

Zero didn’t stop. He paused momentarily when he came face to face with her, Kallen’s blade forced against the white dress shirt that covered his exposed neck. Her skin had goose bumps when he let forth another taunting laugh, a laugh that actually didn’t seem like Suzaku’s at all.

 

 _“Kallen, I would have thought that you out of anyone else would be able to tell the real Zero from a fake,”_ Zero stated in a slightly kinder voice. Now that she thought about it, the voice distortion sounded familiar as well…no…could it really be?

 

A hiss of pressure being released came from behind the figure’s head as he slid off the mask, revealing piercing violet eyes underneath. Kallen’s heart was in her throat, it couldn’t be possible…

 

 _‘You died…I saw you die…’_ she thought in shock as she lowered her pouch blade, retracting it as the figure discarded his mask and removed the facecloth covering his mouth, fully revealing the face of a man the world had seen die two years ago. A genuine smile adorned his features as he stared into Kallen’s cerulean eyes.

 

“Kallen, you aren’t seeing an illusion. I’m not wearing any masks. I am right now, for one of the few moments ever in my life, simply acting as myself,” he stated, maintaining his smile. Nunnally wasn’t the only one who could make him smile like that after all.

 

She hesitantly reached a hand out to his face, almost as if she needed tangible evidence that he was really in front of her…

_SLAP!_

Lelouch Vi Britannia winced and recoiled as he held his now-reddened left cheek, a look of shock adorning his features. Had he been wrong to do this? Was she still angry at him? He stared at the redhead as she lowered her right hand, tears now freely streaking down her beautiful face as she tried to stop crying.

 

“You bastard, how could you do this to me? I would have gone to Hell and back for you and you know it, so why did you leave me out of your inner circle? Why did you pretend to die right in front of me? Why didn’t you let me help you? Why…” she went to continue before she was stopped by lips connecting with her own.

 

She almost resisted, but couldn’t help but melt under the warm embrace of the man she had longed to see again enveloping her shaking figure, their lips unleashing a passion hidden away for two years. She was the one to break it as she cried into his shoulder, completely breaking her usually fiery demeanor as he stroked her hair, shushing her as he enjoyed the feeling of having her in his arms once again.

 

He finally let go of her as she calmed down, wiping tears from her eyes. He gently removed a strand of hair from her eyes, giving her another smile as she struggled to compose herself.

 

 _‘She hasn’t changed a bit since I last saw her…’_ he thought as he subtly removed a few tears from his own eyes, barely able to maintain his usually-calm demeanor at the sight of his black queen once again. He waited patiently until she was able to speak coherently again.

 

“But…Lelouch…I saw you die! I mean, how did you…”

 

“Survive? It’s sort of complicated, Kallen. Even I don’t fully understand it yet despite C.C’s explanation…” he trailed off as he turned his back to Kallen, a thoughtful expression adorning his features as he casually strode to the edge of the roof, leaning over the protective railing and gazing into the distance as Kallen joined him.

 

“I didn’t exactly plan on it, but when I confronted my father and ordered the collective ‘God’ of C’s World to continue the flow of time with my Geass, he started to disintegrate. Before he fully disappeared he grabbed me by the throat. It was probably unintentional, but somehow he managed to pass on his Code to me. I didn't realize it, but the Code stayed hidden away inside of me,” he explained, Kallen listening intently.

 

“You see Kallen, when a person with the power of Geass obtains a Code, that person becomes immortal and loses the power of their Geass. However, for some reason I didn’t lose the power of my Geass while my father’s Code remained dormant inside of me. It wasn’t until Suzaku stabbed me on that fateful day two years ago that something unexpected happened…”

 

“Wait, so you were supposed to have died after all?!” Kallen exclaimed, hurt and betrayal plunging like stakes into her heart. Lelouch merely nodded, avoiding her gaze. It was too painful to look at her at that moment.

 

“Yes Kallen, originally to fulfill our plan to unite the world, Zero Requiem, I was supposed to have died. But when Suzaku stabbed me through the heart, something unexpected happened. A few hours after Jeremiah removed my body, some sort of spiritual reaction happened. Like I said, I’m still not exactly sure what happened, but C.C believes that it might have been something called ‘Code Geass.’"

 

“It’s a rare power which few have ever achieved, and it happens when a Geass wielder that also, unbeknownst to him or her, also holds an inactive Code, is killed. When that happens, both the Code and the Geass cancel each other out, and the user is revived. Since the powers are so unstable at that kind of level, in exchange of being brought back to life, the user loses both their Code and their Geass."

 

He gave her a sad smile. "I suppose I'm no longer a demon after all."

 

“But Lelouch, that still doesn’t explain why you hid yourself away. Didn’t you want to see us again, even if it was in secret?” Kallen asked. Lelouch chewed on his lip for a moment, still avoiding Kallen’s gaze as he stared up at the full moon.

 

“Believe me Kallen, I wanted so badly to let you and Nunnally know that I was alive, but I couldn’t go around showing my face. I thought that two years would be enough time for the memory of my face to fade from the people’s minds, so I hid myself in the countryside with C.C. We went our separate ways a few weeks ago since she wanted to travel around the world once more and I contacted Suzaku and stayed with him. I thought about contacting you also, but I wasn’t sure because…well…” Lelouch muttered as he turned his head to face Kallen, a bitter smile crossing his lips.

 

“Well…wasn’t I the one who told you to ‘live on?’ Suzaku told me that you were doing fine. Plus, I wasn’t sure how you would react if I suddenly revealed myself to you again. So that’s why…”

 

“So that’s why you came up with that whole ‘letter’ game, right? So you could see if I was still angry at you or not? To see if I still cared?”

 

“That was the gist of it,” Lelouch said.

 

“I can’t say that I’m surprised; you always did have a flair for the dramatic. You know, you should have been an actor in the Drama Club, you would have fit right in,” Kallen said with a slight smile.

 

“An actor’s greatest reward is the applause of his audience; it's the mark of a splendid performance. I guess I’ll take that as a compliment,” he remarked with a grin as he turned back to face Kallen, who chuckled a bit. He could be so corny sometimes.

 

“Is there anything else you wish to know, Kallen?” Lelouch asked. “You already figured out on your own what my ultimate goal for Zero Requiem was, so I don’t have to explain that to you.”

 

Kallen lifted her head to look Lelouch straight in the eye, the beginnings of a frown forming on the corners of her mouth. There was one more question she had, but she feared to ask it. Who would have thought Kallen Kozuki, the fearsome Red Lotus of Japan, would ever be afraid of something as silly as asking a question?

 

She turned away from him, walking back toward the stairwell. Slowly she turned back to face him, taking a deep breath before continuing. Lelouch waited patiently, a thoughtful expression on his face as he watched his Q-1.

 

“…Yes, that’s true Lelouch. I did figure it out, and I forgave you a long time ago for all you did. But there is one more question I have, and it’s probably my most important one…” Kallen muttered, trailing off and glancing at the ground, biting her lip in thought. Lelouch slowly walked up to Kallen, confused about her sudden change in behavior as the redhead mustered the strength to face him again, struggling to keep her voice steady.

 

“Lelouch, why didn’t you tell me sooner; why didn’t you at least consider how I felt? Didn’t you trust me? You know I would have done anything to stay by your side…” she lost her voice as Lelouch slowly embraced her again, closing his eyes as he held her close, feeling the silent tears that trickled down her cheeks and dampened his costume. She could feel his breath against her ear, her hair standing on end with each breath. She gasped as he spoke softly in her left ear.

  

“I’m sorry Kallen, I had to. You have no idea how badly I wanted to tell you everything, especially at the UFN conference. But…” Lelouch muttered as Kallen escaped his arms to look at him, her eyes red and puffy from crying.

 

“But what? I wasn’t good enough to be your Knight of Zero, but Suzaku was?  I’m your Q-1, your ace, your most prized piece! Why did you push me away?” she shouted through her tears.

 

“I had to!” Lelouch yelled, breaking his composure. “I had to protect you Kallen, from myself! I had to make you hate me, to see me as the monster I wanted the rest of the world to see me as. Everyone who has ever gotten close to me has died, and God forbid Kallen, if I lost you too I would have never been able to live with myself!” he exclaimed, tears now running down his face. Kallen was speechless; it was rare to see Lelouch lose control of his emotions, let alone shed tears in front of anyone. Wait a minute, did that mean…

 

Lelouch enveloped her again in another hug, but this time it was more like a child seeking comfort. Kallen didn’t object; she gave him a reassuring squeeze, gently stroking the back of his raven black hair.

 

“Kallen, never call yourself a pawn. Despite what you might think, I have never thought of you, or any of the Black Knights, as disposable pawns in a game of chess. It might not have seemed like it, but you, C.C., the Black Knights and the other members of the Student Council were the closest thing aside from Nunnally that I ever had to a family. But most of all…” Lelouch said as he stepped back to look Kallen in the eye.

 

“Most of all Kallen, I especially couldn't let you realize this. I had to make you hate me, so you would survive Zero Requiem. When I had to let you walk away from me on that staircase, I nearly fell apart. It took every single ounce of energy I had not to show you how I really felt.”

 

“Felt? What are you talking about?” Kallen asked, trying to still her rapidly beating heart. Was he trying to say what she thought he was?

  
“Come on, I want to show you something,” he said as he wrapped an arm around her waist, guiding her to the edge of the rooftop. The building overlooked most of the campus, giving a breathtaking view of the entire campus. Small lights highlighted the many pathways and sidewalks that cut through the lawn, illuminating the night sky.

 

“I often used to come up here to think whenever I skipped class. It was one of the few places where I felt free to be myself. I had no masks I had to wear here, no one to deceive or to hide myself from. It’s why I chose to meet you here, Kallen. This is me; the real me,” Lelouch stated as Kallen held him close, listening to his words while enjoying the warmth of his arms around her.

 

“Now, I have one more surprise for you, Q-1,” Lelouch stated with a grin as he lifted up a hand and snapped his fingers. Each lamp suddenly turned off, shrouding them in darkness. He snapped his fingers once again, but nothing happened. Kallen glanced at Lelouch, confused.

 

“Wait a second, you’ll see,” Lelouch smiled.

 

Squealing sounds from flares flying into the night sky filled Kallen’s ears as the flares exploded in brilliant shades of blue, green, red, purple, and other colors as she realized that they were fireworks. Even more fired from strategically chosen places on the campus, bathing the moon in their multicolored brilliance. Kallen was speechless; she had never seen anything more beautiful in her entire life.

 

“You know Kallen, I once promised myself that I would get the whole Student Council together to light off fireworks once the war was over, after you showed me that I was fighting for more than a world where Nunnally could live in happiness. No, you reminded me that our cause was for much more than that. I never was able to fulfill that promise, but…at least I was able to keep one: to have you return to Ashford with me.”

 

Kallen smiled, one of the happiest smiles she had ever given to anyone besides her brother and mother. She held Lelouch even tighter as the two of them continued watching the spectacle.

 

“Lelouch, please…whatever happens, don’t lie to me ever again. I know you told me to live on, but part of me broke apart when I saw you die. There aren’t many things I regret, but there is one thing,” she spoke softly as she turned her head to face him again.

 

“Lelouch, I just want you to know that I, that I love…” she uttered but was cut off by Lelouch’s lips on her own. These weren’t the cold lips of the man she kissed two years ago. No, these lips were warm, soft, lively, full of love. She returned it with as much emotion as him, assuring him that she felt the same. He broke the kiss, steadying his breathing but kept close to her face, the tips of their noses mere centimeters apart.

 

“Kallen, I know. Somehow I always knew. I can’t promise you that it’ll be easy. Officially I died, and many still consider me to be a demon. But I do promise you this--I won’t ever lie to you again,” he said, never taking his gaze off of those captivating eyes of hers. For once, she had no trouble believing him. His eyes not only reflected, but matched the honesty in his voice.

 

"I love you, Kallen Kozuki."

Kallen smiled, one of the most radiant smiles she had ever given. She had never felt so complete.

 

"I love you too, Lelouch Lamperouge."

 

He hadn’t told her everything, but she knew answers would come in time. What mattered was that was alive and had answered the question that had haunted her most. She was finally at peace.

 

Unbeknownst to them, a figure was watching from afar. She had heard every word. She smiled to herself as she brushed a stray strand of lime green hair from her vision.

 

 _‘I guess even demons can find happiness in the end. Hmm, Lelouch?’_ she thought as she took one last look at the couple before gracefully leaping off the roof, leaving no trace of her presence.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This was originally a story I posted to fanfiction.net. If you enjoyed this, please go check out my other work on there! 
> 
> Here's a link to my profile: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/803200/Way-of-the-Sheikah 
> 
> I'll gradually be posting my other works on here, but if there's a high enough demand maybe I'll do it faster. Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think!
> 
> Best regards,
> 
> -Sheik


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